Sunday, August 26, 2012

Bigfoot, Romney and Ryan

ABC/Yahoo News reports today several recent sightings of Bigfoot in Northeast Ohio. A second news article immediately following reports that Paul Ryan has just been in Northeastern Ohio.

Well, that explains everything!

Except, it is my opinion that Romney looks a lot more like Bigfoot than Ryan does.  Romney's got the heft and the head and the weird walk of a Bigfoot.  A sort of Hulkiness.  Ryan is definitely more of an Ichabod Crane, except when he's being Eddie Munster.

But Romney can't be Bigfoot, can he?  Isn't Bigfoot too smart to be a Republican?

After all, Bigfoot has managed to live all across the USA, from the Far Northwest and California to Idaho and now Ohio.  And he has done it for hundreds of years  (ask the Native Americans) without getting caught and without a credit card.

By contrast, the Republicans are so dumb that they can't even hold a convention without inviting a hurricane to join them.  These are the folks who want to manage America but can't manage to schedule  a convention without messing up.  Four years ago they had to shorten their convention ostensibly because of Hurricane Gustav.  Way up in Minnesota, they felt compelled to truncate because of a hurricane in the Gulf?  The real reason they collapsed their convention was so that George W wouldn't be there.  "Don't bother to come, George.  We're having a hurricane." They did NOT want to remind America of what a terrible president the GOP had just produced.

Not satisfied with a distant relationship with Hurricane Gustav, this time they chose to site their convention right smack dab in the ever-popular home of hurricanes.  Yes, FLORIDA!  And right smack dab in hurricane season!

Bigfoot wouldn't do something that dumb. He's been smart enough to avoid humans for centuries, so he sure would avoid hurricanes.

It's just too bad Bigfoot doesn't have a photo ID so he can vote.  He's smarter than the Republicans so he'd likely be a Democrat.  He'd appreciate the fact that Democrats think we should keep some forests and protect endangered species.  We aren't as gun crazy as the GOP either.  (I think we can assume Bigfoot doesn't like guns.)

Setting all this aside, however, Bigfoot and Romney actually have something important in common.

I'll bet neither of them pays any income tax.


Hey, Rommo!  Where's the tax returns?  And don't tell me that Bigfoot ate them!



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