I never thought I'd write such words as these:
Last week the President of the United States lost an aircraft carrier.
It wasn't lost in the sense of being sunk. He had merely misplaced it.
How do you misplace an aircraft carrier?
Your car keys? Yeah. But an aircraft carrier?
April Fool's Day is apparently running a little late this year. The Fool in the White House has just made it appear to the world that the USA had misplaced a giant aircraft carrier! Yes! An aircraft carrier! A huge one! He said it was on the way to Korea. But it wasn't.
Well, the Navy certainly hadn't misplaced it. It was exactly where it was supposed to be, sailing in the opposite direction from Korea. In his ignorance, Trump thought it was going to Korea as part of a "mighty armada" he intended to use to frighten North Korea. Obviously he had forgotten to discuss this idea with the Navy.
What probably frightens the North Koreans (and the rest of the world) is that there is a verifiable idiot in the White House who doesn't understand anything! Nor does his staff!
Well, this is one way for the world to be united — everybody around the globe standing awe-struck, mouths agape, at the Fool of the Century pretending to be a president.
I laughed all weekend.
It was not only comical in itself; it was enormously reassuring. As I have written in recent weeks, Trump is no longer a scary guy because (1) he blew all his political power in the health care debacle, (2) he obviously doesn't know how to get things done; (3) his staff is inept, (4) he hasn't staffed the departments with adequate leadership.
But now it isn't just me who can say we have nothing to fear from this four-year-old. The whole world can see that this guy is even less than a four-year-old. He's zip, zilch, nothing.
If you confuse your fantasies of "a mighty armada" with reality, you are, as we lawyers say, "non compos mentis". Which in technical terms means "you got a screw loose." If you can't co-ordinate information and plans with your military you are not Commander in Chief.
It's wonderful that Trump made this mistake about something military, something gloriously big in the military. The military can't now ignore that there is something seriously deficient in this man.
This is good. The military is our bulwark against Trump launching a nuclear war. To the military, a nuclear war is not in the military's best interest. No one in the military will win any ribbons in a nuclear war. It won't advance any careers. Because everybody will be dead. They understand this.
In the final weeks of Watergate, when Nixon was alone in the White House, depressed and seriously drinking, there was concern he might launch a nuclear strike rather than face the disgrace of impeachment. His chief aide, H.R.Haldeman, on his way out of the White House to serve a prison sentence for his Watergate offenses, snagged General Alexander Haig to babysit Nixon and keep Nixon's fingers off the nuclear launch button. In addition, Secretary of Defense James Schlesinger told the War Room to contact him before carryng out any Nixon orders for a nuclear launch.
Since Trump has launched a phantom aircraft carrier and a phantom armada this past week, hopefully someone high in the military has ordered our War Room to double check any Trump orders launching nuclear weapons. Hopefully....hopefully.....
We certainly live in interesting times, don't we?