Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Five More Dumb GOP "Reforms" of Their Party
In my last posting I went over the first five of the ten ideas the GOP has come up with to reform their party. Confronted with polling that shows a majority of people view the GOP as "stuffy old white men", the GOP included this finding in their report Monday, having appointed a group of stuffy old white Republican men to analyze what's wrong with the party, write the report, and suggest reforms.
Pretty sad, right?
The first five suggestions from the stuffy old white men were mostly silly and rather desperate. And from there on up, it was downhill all the way. Here are the second five:
GOP POINT SIX: Release voter data.
The GOP boasts it has "billions" of pieces of voter data they now plan to release to "friendly vendors and campaigns". There is so much that is basically stupid about that statement that I can't remark on it beyond saying that the GOP would be a whole lot wiser to RELEASE THE VOTERS instead of the data. Yes! Release the voters from the unconstitutional, vote-suppressing laws that have been enacted by state legislatures all over this country. This would be a meaningful outreach to the voters, including the "minorities" the GOP now covets in the wake of its 2012 loss. It would also be a reassurance to some middle-of-the-road independent voters that maybe the GOP has not become unAmerican just to grab power. Okay, okay, I'll say one more little thing about The GOP Point Six: What's this "friendly vendor"stuff? Is that the Good Humor Man? Or are they all gone?
GOP POINT SEVEN: Shrink the primary season.
Oh, no! It was the best fun since Abbott and Costello did "Who's On First " or Andy Griffith did "What It Wuz Wuz Football." Or Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks did "The 2000-Year-Old Man".
Yeah, that's reaching way back, but the GOP primary season was monumentally funny and one has to go back to the giants of comedy to match it. Herman Cain's lecherous smile and his creepy campaign manager doing the ad that ends with slurping the cigarette. Rick Perry forgetting which departments he was going to kill and all the others jumping in to help him remember. Romney at the Iowa Fair hammering the first nail in his coffin by lecturing the crowd that "corporations are people, my friend." (Whenever any Republican calls you "my friend", duck and cover) Ol' Newty Fruitcake Gingrich promising a colony on Mars. All and sundry primary candidates, preposterous in their ignorance and bigotry, frothing at the mouth to deport "illegal aliens" as if we had a bunch of criminally-inclined ETs on the loose.
It was grand. And I haven't even begun to include all the memorable moments. They roundly insulted everybody who is not exactly like them. IT'S A NEW RECORD!
GOP POINT EIGHT: Fewer primary debates. (Same comments as on Point Six.)
GOP POINT NINE: Have an earlier convention.
I guess Clint Eastwood may not last until a later one.
GOP POINT TEN: Change the tone but not the message.
They're kidding. Exactly how do you change the tone of destroying Medicare while giving the rich further tax breaks? How exactly do you do that? I admire the GOP word skills of yesteryear in changing "estate tax" to "death tax", so I really want to see how they can rephrase their plan to push granny off the cliff while stuffing more money in their rich friends' pockets.
Anyone want to offer suggestions on how to word this message so it's more appealing to the general public?
Anyone want to offer the GOP other ideas on how they can improve their party? Their committee of stuffy old white men has sort of bombed out, wouldn't you say?